Painfully Faithful

My faith is the basis for everything in my life. It affects how I view myself, others, my worldview, my purpose and my hope. Without my faith, I would be nothing. I would have no purpose, no future and no hope. Faith is very important to me.

 My life is shaped by the culture I live in. My culture allows room for faith. It is acceptable, although not considered necessary. My life is based on my faith.

 The past fifteen months has been the hardest time of my life. There is no way to have ever guessed the trials, temptation and issues that have consumed me since during this time. My life was in no way perfect before then, but I felt as if I had a handle and general direction. I was dead wrong. My faith has been shaken.

After being raised in a Christian home, attending church my entire life, going to a Christian high school and finally being a part of a Christian university, I thought I had things figured out when it came to my faith. It wasn’t that I was sheltered either, I had definitely seen and learned about the “things of the world” through various incidents. But I was inexperienced when it came to pain.

Faith is a huge part of my life and my life is based on faith, but where does pain fit into it? I couldn’t find a compartment in my faith filled life to put it in, so I locked it away in a box. I carried the key around with me everywhere, but never found the right place to open it, until it burst apart in pieces. Those pieces were disobeying my parents, parties, boys, apathy, friends and fun. These didn’t fit into my faith filled life, but neither did pain.

My life is still based on my faith. It always will be. Faith still drives my purpose and hope in life. But I know my purpose and hope are dead unless I find a compartment for pain in my faith.

What is boxing in the faith in your life?